nabanna

Skończyło się babci sranie, moi drodzy. Od tej pory wspomnienia związane z moją działalnością blogową zachowuję wyłącznie dla siebie; w końcu o pewnych sprawach nie powinno się wspominać nawet w pamiętnikach, a LJ jest w pewnym sensie jednym z nich. Może jak trochę psychicznie dojrzeję to tu powrócę, tego nie wiem. Najpierw muszę odnaleźć samą siebie w tym życiowym labiryncie.

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I fall. I stand up, wipe the blood and carry on making steps forward.

This pre-depressive state of my mind simply disappeared. Is it music's merit? Definitely yes. My life gets back its proper colours. Colours of joy, harmony, peace and freedom. Clouds make regular shapes, make the sky much prettier than ever before. Sun's shining. Smell of laundry is in the air. Kids playing and laughing outside. World is so beautiful. Everything goes just great. Even studying seems to be much easier than it was last week. Let it be.


postscriptum: OhemgeeIfinallystarttounderstandthisstrangesubjectknownbyallofusasmathematics. *__*

Warm air sinks into my hair, leaving its fresh fragrance in every single wisp. Fluffy clouds brighten the sky with their perfect whiteness, the sun is shining. Cars are passing by every time I stare at the window. Not like in the midnight when I walked in the middle of the road in silence. No one was around me. Just me, my dog and the silence. Magnificent.

Morning. The last piece of my birthday cake being consumed. Cup of Rooibos tea standing on my desk, recovering my mind. Maths revision. Phone call with proposition of going for a bike ride. I refuse. Studying is more important than this. Maybe after exams? Ok, that's fine. Speak to you later, bye. Another sip. Let's carry on studying.

Would you like another cup of tea? Yes, please. Waiting for the water to boil. Pouring it to the cups and waiting for the teabag to release its true power.
Like my subconscious mind did yesterday.


I need to change. For better.

Apricot-coloured sky is making the view from my window much more interesting than this boring grey wallpaper that appeared about two weeks ago. More light is coming through to my room and makes me want to leave my bed without any grimace or complain. Dazzlingly white pieces of paper cover all my desk. And no, their contents are not associated with art but with everything I've learnt at school lately. Many tests and homework, no time to waste. But I'm not worried at all. Just three months left until I'll leave this school. Just three. Three. 3. This damn number. Is that some kind of an omen? We'll see...


I decided not to look back. It's such a waste of time, y'know. Everything that's now matters, let's just make all the best from it and we'll success, won't we, Mr. Conscience? Let's start it from right now. Live our lifes the way we want them to be and ignore all the people who consider it as an issue. Forget about all those immature and unfaithful people and percieve the ones that we really care about and vice versa. Develop our knowledge about the world and use it for right purposes. Have fun without hurting anyone's feelings. Enjoy ourselves. Say 'goodbye' to people who want to bring us down and/or simply forgot about us. It's our life. Not theirs. One and only. And realizing this fact is the best thing I've ever done in my entire life.

Let's make this co-operation as productive as possible.

One Particular Reason

I guess you’ve never had this feeling
Of your heart bleeding
Filled with pain
Like clouds are filled with the rain
It ain’t another complain
Nor even a confess
Yet I suggest
That your head is in a mess
Oh, so hopeless
You are to me.
Can it be
All over?
Well, don’t think so,
‘cause I ended up s t r o n g e r .
And even if I’d be a loner
or whenever I’ll look at the picture of you
I’ll eww at y o u
Who’ve never got through
What I did.
Splendid!
But behaving like a kid
Doesn’t appeal to me,
So as you can see
It’s probably meant to be like this.
Oh, so mean you are!
It has gone too far!
It’s too late to fix these things
You know every little thing you need
So go
And leave me alone
For a little bit more…

Nabanna vel Concorde

Finally, I decided to write down my main New Year's Resolutions. Not only I hope for them to come true, I KNOW that they will. There are some below:

- change haircut
- eat more healthy stuff
- lose weight
- get Nikon D60 + Nikkor DX 18-55mm f/3.5-5.6G ED II AF-S Zoom Lens
- get a pair of Converse trainers
- send my best pictures to the photo contest
- smile at least once a day
- study more and harder
- use laptop less than usually
- treat my true friends and family with respect that they deserve
- live in tidy environment
- find some new music bands
- find another interest/hobby
- learn to speak fluent French
- visit at least one foreign country
- read more interesting books
- get to the high school I really want to get to
- enjoy my teenage years

So... tomorrow I'm going back to school. I'm gonna see my friends again and deal with stupid and incompetent ones around me. Suprised? Nah, that's usually called "daily life", you know.

That's also going to be the first time I'll take my own camera to school (excited? ok, maybe a bit :P) to see if I can take the pictures I was wishing to take in some interesting places. I've tried my little machine today and I'm quite satisfied, although I still need more practise (that's what every Padawan keeps saying to graduate to the higher range ^_^). Hmm... photographing Padawan... that's interesting...

Yeah, in twenty minutes I'll go to sleep. I go to bed early to get ready for the first day at school and have some time to take pictures in the way to it. I feel quite tired, but I think that I needed this long weekend to consider some important stuff and get some rest. I certainly did.

Yawn! I'm gonna go to sleep now. Let's see if this week will be better than the rest. Goodnight everyone!

With huge hope for Laura that she'll get rid with her illness completely and quickly!

Nabanna.